I hope that you’re having fun with your body. And if that’s not yet accessible to you, I hope that you’re learning to heal within your own skin—to reclaim that which belongs to you, and only you. And above all, I hope that you feel both supported and autonomously driven in that process.
I’ve put myself through rigorous training and restrictive dieting in the past, not as a method of self care, but as a relentless hustle for worthiness and external validation. It took years to heal from that obsession with my body and the wounds from whence it sprang. The cycle of healing is never linear, and as such, I did a lot of back and forth with this body of mine.
If you find yourself going back and forth a lot, it’s okay. Everything is ephemeral and the process takes what it takes.
My healing required that I get really clear about what I wanted for my own body, independent of external pressures. When I’d inevitably engage in negative self talk or regress into destructive habits, I’d ask, “Who profits from me hating my body? Whose idea is it that I’m supposed to look a certain way?” I found a lot of freedom in that mindset—in remembering that body politics is just another way the patriarchy exercises its power.
But most of all, I found freedom in the idea that I could have fun with my body, and that’s all that truly mattered. That if I chose movement and food that made me happy, I would be happy—it sounds simple, but embodying that truth meant dismantling a lot of bullshit.
I don’t care about weightlifting vs CrossFit vs powerlifting vs cardio vs low carb vs paleo vs tracking macros. I care about FUN, because fun keeps me consistent and consistency is the goal. My intention is to consistently move my body in ways that make me feel powerful, eat enough good quality food to support that movement, and love myself completely at every juncture.
Whatever you choose, boo boo, choose it for yourself. Choose it because it’s fun. Choose it because it feels like coming home, because it’s what feels right within your bones. Fuck anyone else’s ideas of how you should or shouldn’t move/look/eat/feel.
Get inside your body and stay there—that’s when you win and the system loses.