By: Neghar On: December 21, 2015 In: body image, Featured Posts, Fitness, Lifestyle, Lift, Mindset Comments: 13

It happened during a Strongman training session, in which there were very heavy sandbags involved.

The task was, pick up a sandbag from the ground and carry it 100 feet, working up to your heaviest possible bag. I love this kind of stuff, and I loved the newness and the challenge of the task. And it was through this experience that I had an unexpected moment of clarity about both my femininity and my autonomy.

After a few rounds of hoisting these awkward, heavy bags, I made a quip about the destruction of my lovely gel manicure–my nails, while trying to get the sandbag off the ground, were repeatedly scraping against the concrete floor.

It wasn’t a complaint, of course. I don’t complain during workouts, and to be honest, I try to make it a habit not to complain at all; complaining is useless–action is preferable. It wasn’t a complaint, no. More of a jocular reference to the fact that while I like to get sweaty and strong and chalked up at the gym,I also still care about my mani. Deeply.

A fellow lifter jokingly replied, “Oh come on, Neg!”

I responded in turn with, “Hey, I’m allowed.”

Because you know what? I AM ALLOWED.

I’m allowed to like squats and sparkly nail polish, in equal measure.

I’m allowed to get sweaty and dirty while smashing weights, and still truly care about things like lipgloss and bronzer and fashion.

I’m allowed to relentlessly pursue strength and simultaneously pursue things that society deems in direct opposition of that pursuit.

I’m allowed to be a badass and a girlie girl and a feminist and a doting wife and a nurturing mom and an entrepreneur and anything I damn well decide to be, all at once in intervals and everywhere in between.

I’m allowed to have my own personal definition of “feminine,” my feminine.

I’m allowed to be powerful and feminine, because those things are not mutually exclusive.

I’m allowed. And so are you.

You’re allowed to determine what feminine means to you, and you’re allowed to identify what makes you feel powerful, what makes you feel most aligned and fully alive. So instead of collapsing silently and peacefully into the mold that someone else has created for us, I suggest we create our own.

Or better yet, why not reject the idea of a mold altogether? Why not give ourselves permission to be whoever the hell we want to be, whenever we choose? To be the people we know we’re truly meant to be, rather than the people we think we’re supposed to be?

Permission to be authentically, powerfully, unapologetically you–that’s what I want for each and everyone of you. Because no one gets to label us. No one gets to put us in a little box and expect us to stay within those bounds, and color within those lines.

No one decides what “feminine” means to you, except for YOU.

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  • Hello Neg! Great effort you have done. I appreciate you by heart and i must say here that you as well as your blog acts as inspiration for many people like me. Thanks for sharing inspiring blog with us.

  • I AM ALLOWED. this is brilliant.

  • Thanks Neghar for your brilliant blogs. I found this article very helpfu. I have the power to create gentle change that’s right for me and I feel empowered by that.

  • gymequipment services

    this is good.

  • Smith Martin

    Great article .Very easy to understand and shareable content .A big thanks for sharing the article with us .

  • Rachael S

    It’s difficult though isn’t it, to ignore “society’s” idea that we should all fit into a pre-defined category and that if we do things that don’t fit into this category, then we worry we appear disingenuous or without direction.

    I agree though, we need to be able to do everything we want to do, without worrying about how it may appear to others. I guess “society” is, after all made up of individuals, so if we all change our opinion to allow people to be as broad and wide ranging in their interests and hobbies and values as they want to be, then maybe societal norms will also eventually change.

  • Great concepts, I think people believe you have to be a tomboy if you are a girl and life, so not true!

  • great article. If you enjoy the work you are more likely to keep doing it.

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  • nice article. Clear concept of weight loss. Thanks for sharing.

  • 7 Daily Moves

    Clear Instructions and planned strategy to get stronger body.
    I love this post. Thanks Sharing.

  • Gerald Smith

    Your really inspirational. Its great to see a woman who does weight training to keep fit, and dispels the myth that weight training should only be done by men who want to be butch.

    I love this article. Its great!

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