By: Neghar On: June 20, 2017 In: heart wisdom, Mindfulness, Mindset Comments: 2

“Good Vibes Only” is a sentiment that, despite being an optimistic, positive thinker, I just can’t get behind.

Let me be clear: I am all about high vibes and surrounding yourself with high vibin’ people. I truly believe that each of us are responsible for the vibe that we bring, and that it’s wholly uncool to force bad vibes on others. I don’t spend time with people who perpetually vibrate at a low frequency and I certainly do my best to utilize perspective and gratitude on a regular basis so that I don’t bring yucky vibes to the table.

But I also know that bad vibes happen. It’s impossible (and actually unfavorable) to eliminate them completely, no matter what any internet guru tells you. Bad vibes are an inevitable fact of life, and not allowing them to manifest only prolongs their presence by virtue of numbing, distracting, and avoiding.

The idea behind the “good vibes only” sentiment is pure and good, and I get that. But it’s also naive and limiting, because not only is it okay to feel bad vibes sometimes, it’s necessary. Perpetual positivity is a myth—an inauthentic quality that leads to the unattainable pursuit of perfection.

“No Bad vibes” is not a space I plan to ever occupy.

Sometimes I’m angry.

Sometimes I’m despondent.

Sometimes I need to scream, cry, or vent.

Sometimes I’m a total effing mess.

Sometimes I feel bad vibes and I am absolutely okay with that, because it is through those bad vibes that opportunities for growth are presented. It is through the ability to lean into the messiness that I’m able to process my emotions in order to find clarity and peace.

Being happy on a fundamental level does not involve only feeling good vibes, rather it’s crafting the skills necessary to understand that bad vibes are both informative and impermanent. The exist to test us, expand us, and lead us further down a path of higher living.

What’s more important than bringing “only good vibes” is knowing how to break into pieces without falling apart, and lean in without losing yourself. Happy people don’t feel only good vibes—they just know how to manage their bad vibes.

They lean in. They listen. They introspect. They process. They grow and expand.

And then they move forward.

Rather than sit here behind my screen and pretend to believe in a “good vibes only” approach, I want to be fully transparent with you, as is my perpetual intention: I’m a huge supporter of “some bad vibes.” 

I believe in that there is great power in  feeling your feelings and allowing them to run their course. I trust that challenges and difficult situations are also opportunities to grow and learn. I know that bad vibes are impermanent (just like everything else in this brief existence), and I believe that it’s my responsibility as a human on this planet to know how to be a mess sometimes without fully giving into the messiness.

Some Bad Vibes. Because pretending to be happy all the time isn’t just inauthentic, it’s limiting and ultimately dangerous. It keeps us from honoring our pain and our suffering and perpetuates perfection on a whole other level.

Some Bad Vibes. Because you’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to feel rage and heartbreak. You’re allowed to feel pain and to come apart a little at the seams.

Some Bad Vibes. Because without the bad ones we cease to fully appreciate the good ones. We become one dimensional creatures void of a range of emotions.

Some Bad Vibes. Because light cannot exist without darkness.

Instead of giving into the pressure to only have good vibes, I say we invite those bad vibes in for a glass of wine and let them do their job. They’re here to teach us, stretch us, and bring us to a higher state of awareness.

Try to suppress them and they will only manifest in other, perhaps more deleterious ways. Let them flow through you, and you will find yourself stronger, more resilient, and more likely to naturally vibe on a higher level.

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