When we walk the Earth awake and aware, rooted in our intuition, we find that the Universe has a keen way of giving us lessons in instant feedback. I was privy to one such lesson just a few weeks ago as I was rushing to a Crossfit class at Deuce Gym in Venice Beach.
In the panicked hustle to get to the 4:30 class on time, I had a mini freakout about my cellulite.
Because I was in a rush, I wound up grabbing the first pair of shorts I found–some itty bitty booty thangs. Not something I would typically wear when I’m as “heavy” or “soft” as I perceive myself to be right now.
Here’s the absolute honest truth: I am not super lean right now, and that is completely okay. Not just with me, but for the world. It’s okay. I make conscious choices that affect my body, and right now my choices aren’t about body fat–they’re about balance, strength, and lifestyle.
My body fluctuates. It’s normal. It’s no cause for alarm. I don’t derive my value as a woman or my worth as a coach by how lean I am. None of that is up for debate; I love my body no matter what, because it’s badass as shit. I truly believe that.
But as I was speed walking to this Crossfit class, I briefly thought, “Neg, you have no business wearing these shorts right now; everyone will see your cellulite.”
I mean, what the eff? Is this a joke?
Luckily, the Universe stepped in with that instant feedback I was talking about. I looked down at my shirt and had a moment of clarity.
That negative body talk? That’s that shit I don’t like. That worrying about what other people think about my body? That’s that shit I don’t like. That preoccupation with how my cellulite appears, distracting me from crushing the workout? That’s that shit I don’t like.
Listen, it happens. No one is perfect, and taking it further, no one is perfect at being imperfect. Negative thoughts will come int your head from time to time. You’ll question your body, your abilities, your qualifications. It’s crucial not to beat yourself up, but it’s imperative to stop beating yourself for beating yourself up.
The way we speak to our bodies is an integral part of our fitness journey. Sure, eating mindfully and training regularly are important for your fitness. But the way you talk to yourself about your body? It’s even more important than those things. Turning it around takes practice and constant effort, but at some point it will become more effortless and natural.
This turnaround was instant for me, mostly because I’ve spent years working on being in touch with intuition and honing a successful mindset.
But although it seems like it’s happening instantly, there’s actually a process going on in the background. I may not think about it consciously anymore as it’s become more inherent, but there is a conscious practice that I want to share with you.
1-Let Go of the Story
“Everyone is looking at my cellulite” is a story I’ve made up in my own head. It’s not reality and it sure as hell isn’t serving me.
Recognize that it’s just a story, and that the next few thoughts can be spent letting go of the story, rather than adding to it’s elements. This is an opportunity for growth and a chance to let go of the stories that are weighing you down and keeping you from living your bliss.
2-Use Awareness and Discernment
Become aware of the story. Discern that they are thoughts you are creating and stories you are making up. But don’t JUDGE yourself for creating the story! That will only push you further into the darkness. Awareness and discernment are useful tools–judgment is not.
No one else’s opinion of your body matters–only yours. Use these experiences as an opportunity to develop the highest opinion possible, without judgment and with gentle discernment.
3-Turn it Around and Keep it Lighthearted
The turn-around is the most essential component of this process. It’s integral that you develop ways to pull yourself away from the story and back to reality.
“That’s that shit I don’t like” is funny and light, and quickly took me from being nasty towards myself to laughing out loud in the middle of the street. I have found that when you’re first venturing into this “body positive” world, it helps to keep things light and fun.
Your turn-arounds don’t have to be deep and über meaningful. They can be silly, funny, and completely unique to you. They can even be as simple as one word that brings you back to reality; GRACE is a word I use often as it centers and grounds me almost instantly.
As you begin to really flow into this journey, and you start to embrace imperfection and body positive messages, you might start to beat yourself up for those moments when you have a perfectionist hit.
We aren’t perfect, and even once we recognize and accept that we aren’t perfect, we will still have perfectionist moments. This is normal. It’s real life. The most damaging thing we can do in those moments is berate ourselves for having perfectionist tendencies.
No one is perfect at being imperfect. All you can do is recognize it as a story line, become aware of your thoughts, and turn that shiz around. Over and over again, until this practice becomes more natural and effortless.
You’ve got this.